Prop 8 - not my usual blog, humor shall return any day now

Well, its been awhile since I blogged and I have no idea if anyone even reads this, but something happened this morning which really irked me. Leaving my house this morning, I noticed that our new neighbors have posted a big yellow sign which read “VOTE YES ON PROP 8.” We all know that Prop 8 is the ballot initiative to ban same sex marriage in California. Although I am not wildly in favor of same sex marriage on a personal level, I cannot even begin to comprehend the mentality of an individual who would post, what is essentially anti-gay signage in his/her front yard. It is absolutely baffling to me that there are people in our great state that would openly encourage the passing of a law which serves only to discriminate against same sex couples.

This Proposition is often touted as “preserving the sanctity of marriage,” the sanctity of which can only be preserved by denying the civil right of marriage to same sex couples. How can this happen in a civil society governed by laws of equality? The proponents of Prop 8 concede that they do support civil unions, it is only marriage that they are opposed to. What is the difference between a civil union and a legally recognized marriage? NOTHING, other than the name, so it really comes down to semantics right? Well, sort of. If the legal benefits of a civil union and a legally recognized marriage are the same, then why not just call it one or the other? These two ideas are essentially separate but equal under the eyes of the law. However, the supreme court ruled in that famous case, you may have heard of it, Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka Kansas, that separate but equal is inherently unequal. How then can civil unions and legally recognized marriages co-exist as separate entities? According to federal law, this is unconstitutional, which is why the politicians in D.C. have left this issue up to the states to decide, much like they did for several decades with that other white hot issue - slavery.

We live in a country of laws, we have civil rights and that is exactly what same sex marriage is – a civil right. I think many proponents of Prop 8 feel threatened by same sex marriages because it goes against their religion or their perceived sense of morality, which makes no sense because this is a civil issue separate from any religious ideology.

Sorry for this politico manifesto, I am just so sick and tired of the rampant intolerance among certain groups of people. Civil rights are civil rights and they should be separated from personal feelings pertaining to religious faith.

DNC Convention Coverage - Fashion hits and misses

Hillary Spice - aka Orange Spice

While I liked the choice of orange and the monochromatic pairing of pants, jacket and shell…(had she paired ensemble with a white or ivory shell, she would have looked like a 50/50 bar, had she gone with black she would have looked like a jack-o-lantern and had she gone with another color she would have looked a little like a poncho bought in Tiajuana)…all that aside, while she scored big in the color category, the suit would have looked much fresher with bold GOLD (not orange beads as we saw last night) accessories. Had she accessorized with some gold bangles, a longish necklace infused with a little aqua detail and some really great gold wedge heels I think she could have looked like a fresh ray of sunshine, but instead she just looked, well, orange.

OMG OMG OMG!!!

This just in…90210 making a comeback…on prime time TV!!!! I can hardly contain my excitement. Tears are welling up in the corners of eyes. I never thought that this moment would come. Sure, I hoped and prayed dreamt of a return to that magical zipcode, and the Gods of T.V.’s past have blessed me with their return. This is a day for my gratitude journal, if I had one, I would most certainly write in it. I may have to dig out my old 90210 Barbies from my closet storage so that they can share in the joy of their return to prime time. Are David and Donna still married? Did Kelly and Dylan rekindle their romance? Is Brandon President of the United States? Do the Walsh’s still live in Asia? Whatever happened to that ugly bitch Brenda? So many unanswered questions… I am going to go home and make a paper chain and count the days until the return of 90210.

I just got an email from my friend Mandi, a fellow die hard 90210’er, chanting, say it with me now, DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES, DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!!!

Ode to Bethany

One of my favorite co-workers has left our magnificent firm. She will be missed. Bethany, I think about you all the time. Your desk has been dismembered and a squatter stole your chair, leaving barely a trace left of your memory, I thought it only fitting to memorialize your time here with a few, well chosen words.

Ode to Bethany
Her name was Bethany,
Like the city in Jerusalem from long ago,
She never made a show,
But quietly did her work in her cube,
Her toothpaste came from a tube,
She will be missed, but not dissed,
For she was one of a kind,
With a sound and astute mind,
She was tall,
And on the ball,
Goodbye dear Bamchop, may the road rise to meet you,
And may all your wildest dreams come true.

Organic Deodorant...one woman's story from the front lines of the battle of body odor

In an effort to go "green" I purchased some organic, parabun (sp?) free deodorant from Trader Joe's, which was a collossal mistake. Things were going well until lunchtime when I returned to the office smelling as if I had just trekked twenty miles through the Gobi desert and then bathed in a latrine. Thankfully, a friend of mine bailed me out with some real (albeit toxic) deodorant and I was back to business as usual. Moral of the story, unless you want to smell like a hippy from the Haight, do not use organic deodorant to save the environment, because you really will just be killing whoever comes within a 25 mile radius of you.

Oh Happy Day!

I woke up with grand aspirations for my hair…I had envisioned loose, piecey-style Kate Hudson curls but for some reason my hair wasn’t holding the waves quite as I had hoped and long story short, I ended up putting my hair in two nice barrettes…a little early 80’s Facts-of-Life boarding school WASP meets Courtney Love look. This was truly a renaissance of hair do.

So, with my hair baretted up I need to find an appropriate outfit that would compliment the look that I had inadvertently cultivated for myself this morning, which meant a pleated skirt of some sort, a cardigan and nice pumps. I was seeing Muffy from Square Pegs style in my mind meets doll parts. As seems to be par for the course, I ended up leaving the house in a full khaki pleated skirt, aqua tank and orange flowered cardigan and 3 ½ inch peep toes brown leather pumps. Upon looking in the mirror, I realized that all likeness to Muffy was lost except for the hair…which did not quite fit my overall ensemble. Anyhoo, I now look like a generationally challenged dresser appearing to the masses of Orange County as cross between a desperate housewife and a square peg.

Because it took me one hour and 15 minutes to get ready for work this morning, and the fact that when I started my car I realized that I had no gas, there was no time to grab breakfast…which for all intents and purposes would be a good thing because its not like I needed to grab a muffin from Henry’s anyway, but as is usually the case, I fretted over when/what I could have for breakfast the entire way to work. I willed the lights to all turn green upon my the sight of my car so I would be able to get to work on time and be able to fix an English muffin or something similar from the kitchen. To my delight, not only did the lights turn green, but when I arrived to work (5 minutes late) there was a mountain of donuts and bagels on the kitchen table! Now, of course I went for the bagel because they are less fattening, but my favorite little waxy chocolate donuts were staring me down, pleading to be eaten…little devils covered in milk chocolate. I rose above the temptation and ate a delicious bagel and now because I am satisfied from within, I can look beyond my outward gardenparty/boarding school/housewife/rockstar stuck in a revolving 1984/2008 time warp and can just be grateful for the little things in life, like bagels!

Here is some art to compliment my blog...just so you get a better idea as to what I am talking about.

To Cleanse or Not to Cleanse?

I have been doing Weight Watchers for six weeks and have not lost any weight. Perhaps this is because I have been “watching” the weight instead of trying to ditch it altogether. I am coming to the realization that my thighs are best friends and prefer to be in constant contact with each other, like Siamese twins they are. They are so happy in fact that when I walk, they have a little sing-song that they do because they are so happy to be touching each other. It goes something like this – “schmersh, schmersh, schmersh.” I have had to give up wearing coudoroys altogether because their glee in being covered in courdoroy was just too jouyous for human ears. SO…Whilst pretending to work, but in throws of chunky despair I decided to look into cleanses. I have heard that colon cleanses and colonics are a great way to shed 8 pounds or so instantly. Google revealed to me a remarkable product that I just may consider buying. This product is called ColonBlow. See the pic below. This is a real product and promises to deliver real results. The best thing about this product is that it does not restrict you diet so you are allowed to “blow” more often, which makes perfect sense to me. The more you blow, the more you lose. So, I figure that I can drink all the wine I want and have those McDonalds French fries and just blow it all away later. Uh-oh, I think they have a label for people who engage in that sort of bodily abuse…oh, yea, its called THIN.